Vibes by Amy Kathleen Ryan

Author:Amy Kathleen Ryan [Ryan, Amy Kathleen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Published: 2013-11-10T05:00:00+00:00

GUSTY IS ZANY

By the time I get to school the next day, the pink tree is nearly bare. Petals cling very sparsely to the twisting branches, but the wind, which picked up last night, will take care of the rest. Pretty soon the nice part of fall will be over and the dark and cold will set in. I'm standing near the window before Morning Meeting begins, looking at that tree, remembering that only a few days before, I'd stood underneath it waiting for Gusty, feeling a simple happy feeling. Now that Dad has come back, I wonder if I'll ever feel a simple feeling again. Suddenly everything is complicated. It's as if the tree shed all its petals as a message to me: Be careful what you wish for.

Dad is still as magnetic as I remember him. Something about the intimate way he talks makes you want him to like you. When I was a kid, I loved his magnetism. I felt it last night, but somehow now it makes me angry. I don't want to be drawn into his magnet. I don't want to be a metal daughter again. A metal daughter is a robot. Change the batteries, oil the joints. Low maintenance.

Mom has been acting totally weird. This morning over coffee she asked me how I felt about seeing Dad again, but that was it. She wanted to hear only about my feelings. She didn't have any questions about Dad at all. I probed her thoughts as she stared into her mug, and I realized she's trying not to put me in the middle of their fight. I guess that's nice of her, but somehow it doesn't feel natural. Nothing does.

Morning Meeting is starting late today for some reason. People are milling around me, and their voices blend with their thoughts in my mind so I can listen to the background the same way I would hear the ocean. It washes over me like warm water, all those thoughts. Usually hearing what people are thinking feels like torture, but now that Dad's back, none of that seems important. It's rare when I can do this, but today I let their thoughts come and go as I watch pink petals fly away from the tree.

I feel a tap on my arm and turn to see Gusty giving me a half smile that makes his mouth look lopsided. "I've been looking for you," he says. "Are you feeling okay? You were pretty upset the other day."

The quiet feeling is suddenly gone. "I'm sorry about breaking down like that."

"Kristi, come on, we're old friends." His quiet tone makes me look at his face. He's squinting at me. I can hear that he's thinking hard about me, imagining what it would be like to be in my situation. He hurts for me. This makes me feel for a moment as if I'm not alone, as though Gusty magically climbed inside my life with me and is looking around, taking stock. "Your dad coming back, that's major," he says.

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